


Dora and Her Ghetto Adventures

by orphan_account



Category: Caillou (Cartoon), Dora the Explorer (Cartoon), Go Diego Go!, K (Anime), Peppa Pig (Cartoon), The Backyardigans, ぼくのぴこ | Boku no Pico
Genre: Columbine, Crack, Eric Harris - Freeform, F/M, Fanfiction, Gaming, Gen, Ghetto, Offensive, Romance, anime crack, attack on titan - Freeform, caillou - Freeform, ereri, ghetto dora, hood, its a joke fam please, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 00:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11302161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dora, a little girl with dreams of becoming ratchet decides to clash with Peppa, the schools most gang-banger ratchet pig. At Columbine high things don't go so well, as she discovers the life on the streets. But her friend  Pico, a shotacon loli who gets made fun of, helps Dora reach her goal. What will happen now to Dora as she struggles to to become the most ratchet queen of all? Will she be able to overcome her obstacles? Will Swiper her sempai notice her?





	1. Who is the most ratchet of them all?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dora/gifts).



> AUTHOR'S NOTE: GUYS THIS IS A JOKE, IT IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE. I ALREADY CHECKED THE VIOLENCE AND PROFANITY BOX SO IF YOU GET TRIGGERED, MY BAD LOL. NOT THAT I GIVE A CRAP

   Dora wasn't exactly the brightest nor the most smartest. As a child she was constantly picked on for having, what some say: An unrealistic head shape that looks like a watermelon, and a pink butt. She always watched her favorite anime: WORLDSTARHIPHOP. And she was amazed at how ghetto and ratchet one can be. Dora was jealous.

         In her school she had a idol, Peppa. The most ratchet of all. Peppa was a pig with an considerably small stature who stood out like a sore thumb. Her skin was pink, and her mom always had to freshly-sew in weaves, probably because she always ready to fight a hoe.

              Needless to say, Dora wanted to snatch that title from her. She sighed. 

        The Peppa pig was perfect.  All the fuckboys wanted her, including the finest guy of her class, Swiper. Swiper was a illegal raccoon, that Dora was in love with. Swiper took one look at Dora, and said 'Fuck outta here, I ain't fucking no Mexican watermelon'. This caused Dora to be suicidal. But Peppa was known all over the school as the thickest preschooler in the district. One day at Columbine High school, Dora made the mistake she would soon regret.

        "Lobita, The fuck are you doing sitting here?" Peppa exclaimed, irritated, she was wearing ripped knee-length shorts and a shirt with the 'blood' gang sign. Dora looked her sheepishly and then her face darkened, from the tone. Peppa's friend, Caillou, a skinny bald-headed kid with a cigarette in his mouth, glared at Dora with his red-strained eyes, then Peppa told her fat ass to move. 

       "I ain't gonna move ho." Dora stated proudly. Peppa then took a clump of Dora's hair and shoved her to the ground while pouncing on her, but luckily Dora grabbed a strand of her freshly new weave and yanked it out.  Swiper who had been eating, noticed Dora and felt the heat rising up his face. 

        Most teachers came out, rather than stopping it, they were recording the fiasco and jumping like total monkeys.        

        "WORLD STAR!" One voice screamed.

        Dora was suspended for three weeks, and because of this, she earned an ass-whooping and a chancla beating to the core by her crack-head uncle. (Dora's mom was killed in a school shooting, and her dad died in a gang fight. So she had to live with him). She was sick of it. She lit the candles to her Eric Harris shrine and prayed to the Gods once more. 

        She then decided to go to her good friends Pico's house and make a very important plan. Pico is a gay little loli-shotacon, with short blond hair. He was always getting beat up for being a faggot. Dora would always help with his injuries after each incident but Dora was too much of a pussy to stand up to the gang-banger squad, _'_ The Backyardigans'. 

        He is also a cuck-boy who owns a tumblr account and constantly whines about his gender identity. His blog consisted of phrases like 'duck trump', and 'Fuck Cis people'. Pico was sitting in the comfort of his bed, before he heard a knock.

        The blond went over to the door and opened it. He was shocked, his green eyes widen at the sight. "So you going to let me in or what?" It was Dora. She was wearing a kicker gang banger shirt and little to no clothing. Pico nearly gagged at the sight. 

        Two hours past and Dora was already making herself at home. Pico had decided to help her transform into the most ratchet queen, after watching hours of World Star to learn the ways of the ratchet. "Dora, do you ever feel like punishing your bullies?" Pico asked uncertainly. 

        There came an excellent idea to Dora. She would plan a school shooting, but not before glowing up. She nodded. Pico then grinned and then shot up a couple of gang signs that Dora had learned over the time of her suspension.

                They were back in school. Dora went inside the worn-down buildings that reeked of death and ignored all the gang symbols and swastika  within the school's walls. All eyes were on Pico and Dora. Whenever met with a pair of eyes, Dora would give them the finger. They then went inside the cafeteria for breakfast. (Cause Pico's parents just ran out of food stamps and Dora's fat so her uncle starved her)

        Peppa pig saw the disgrace and her mouth agape. Is it possible? Could someone steal her spotlight, and become the new ratchet queen? No way she is letting this happen. Peppa cringed in disgust and walked over to Dora.

        "Tch. You brought your hentai-con friend too," Peppa sneered while her face was almost too close to Dora's.

        Dora had enough of her shit. Peppa caused Dora her suspension. So Dora proceeded to bitch-slap the fuck out of Peppa. Along with Pico swaying his hips and motioning the middle finger. Pico was dressed in his finest trench coat. This led to people cowering in fear.

        A certain melody could be heard. Some edgy twelve year old with a fidget spinner was blasting XXXTENTACION- YUNG BRATS, in the school's cafeteria. A group of shadows came from the door. Pico smiled mischievously, clenching his sides.

         _I got glacial white ice_  
        And my bitch rack nice  
        And I do fight dykes  
        Ride my dick like a bike

        "Well look what we have here," A high pitched voice said too proudly. Everyone went silent. It was The Backyardigans. The gang-bangers. Compromising of Uniqua, the Japanese pink dinosaur, Tasha the yellow hippo, Austin, Pablo the Puerto rican drug dealer with one eye and last but not least. Fucking Tyrone. These lil bitches were _not_ to be fucked with. 

        "What're, you roaches doing with my manz Peppa?" The Japanese Pink Dinosaur, asked, her eyes furious with rage. She then pointed to her boss Pablo, and he proceeded to put out a sharp flashing object from the back of his yeezys....

 


	2. Pico And His School Shooting gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk wtf this is. Basically Pico has enough of everyone's shit, so he and his friend Dora have a very important plan in mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID THIS FOR ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE WHO READ THIS. THANK YOU

"What're, you roaches doing with my manz Peppa?" The Japanese Pink Dinosaur, asked, her eyes furious with rage. She then pointed to her boss Pablo, and he proceeded to put out a sharp flashing object from the back of his yeezys. To Peppa's luck, she managed to get up and knuckle Dora's nose. Which caused Dora to land face flat on the floor.

Dora was left motionless and her butt up in the air. That was all it took for Pico to get out his family's school shooting gun the  **Hi-Point 995 9mm carbine** from the pockets of his coat. Screams and pleads could be heard from the cafeteria and this caused Pico to be annoyed, so he fired a shot to the ceiling, causing the infidels to shut the fuck up.

"You all better Shut the fuck up and stop calling me a gay loli!" Pico screamed with a fidget spinner in his left hand. Some of the debris fell from the ceiling. Pico then furrowed his eyebrows and glared at his oppressors.                                        

Most of The Backyardiagans were shitting their pants except for the one-eyed Puerto-Rican dealer with the knife in his hands, and the Japanese Pink dinosaur. 

Pablo, the one eyed fuck, then decided to run up and try to stab Pico, but failed as he was shot down by Pico. Pico then pissed his pants and cried like a little bitch. Dora then somehow got up and starting flashing gang signs, stole Pico's gun and then shot Peppa in the leg.

Uniqua the Japanese pink dinosaur, then got out her sword and started to swing at Dora, which lead her to cut Dora's gang-banger t-shirt. This caused Dora to be very angry, so she shot Uniqua sixty-nine times and then she looked to her side and saw that Pico was saluting Hitler.         

So then she got Uniqua's sword and cut Pico's arm. And she looked to the left and saw that Aasim the weird kid, brought an extra lunch box to school. And was humming something inaudible. (isis theme song)  Pico then noticed this and asked him to help eliminate the sinners of the school.

Pico was glad that Aasim was there because at least he had someone on his side. Dora was standing still with the sword in her hands and a gun with her eyes rolled back, while singing, "I'm on a boat," to the point of insanity.

Aasim took out his homemade bomb, and then Pico moved out to the side. Mohammed was a skinny brown kid that had little to no friends. Aasim was always seen with a isis fidget spinner in his hands. But he got it taken away because he tried to make it explode. Most teachers forgot that he even existed. He had a very sad life. His father died during 9/11, doing the thing he loved...

 **Flying airplanes**. (I know really original)

Pico then realized that Aasim was acting weird. He was still singing the isis anime opening and Pico with a concerned look, asked him. "Are you alright hom-"

"ALLAHU AKBAR!" 

_Bam._

Half of the school was blown out, but luckily Dora and Pico managed to survive. Aasim sadly, was the first one to die. But at least he died doing what he loved.

Dora and Pico were then arrested by the police.It took a lot of struggle to arrest the two, Pico kept distracting the pedo guards by trying to seduce them and  Dora somehow managed to shoot a large guard who was a purple dinosaur. Dora saw the guard's tag name: Barney.

The Mexican girl then laughed. What a pussy name.

Barney was a pussy cop. He was trying to woo in Dora by dangling taco's and trying to offer her money, all the while standing far away from Dora to the point of pissing his pants, in fear of getting stabbed in the balls (He didn't have any).

Finally as a last resort, Barney then plead a bargain with Dora. "I will give you the ultimate key into being a ratchet hoe!"Barney said, desperate was his eyes.

This caused Dora to go full retard and run to Barney who was on the ground ,while saying, "Okay, Okay!" She eventually got caught by Yo Gabba Gabba and sentenced to trail. It turns out her crack-headed uncle Jose, was shot dead because he robbed a bank, so he couldn't come. Pico and Dora were sentenced 69 days in jail.  

They were both sent to two different prisons, which triggered Dora to kill a police guard. This got her sent to prison for an extended 420 days.  

About a week later Swiper decided to visit Dora, but he got sent back to El Salvador after getting in a fight with the one of the prison guards and finding out he was in a drug trade.              

Pico was however very happy. He was also scared because he might get his ass kicked in prison but he prayed to _**Gandhi, the god of war** _ every night before he went to sleep. At first you might think that Pico, would probably end up becoming somebody's bitch, but no. 

The blond actually made a couple of friends. One of them includes his friend, Diego. Which he found out was Dora's long lost little brother. Pico kept Diego as his pet. They had so much fun together.

"Please Pico ma hom-," Pico shut up his brunet friend Diego after putting his legs on Diego's back. Diego was a short boy, with tan skin and had a weird ghetto Mexican accent that would piss Pico off, because it reminded him of Pablo. Pico would torment Diego all day long.

Dora on the other hand, was having an amazing time in prison. She was known as the ratchet of the ratchet. She finally became queen. Dora grew out her hair and started to wear her hair in dreads. Dora was feared by everybody, including the boy guards because they were babies.

Whenever Dora got in a fight with someone, the guards would always stay back and cry. "Now you understand, Boots?" She deadpanned at the poor cowering monkey, Boots. Boots was a transgender butch dyke that lost a gamble with Dora so she became her slave."Don't ya ever come near my stash of weed AGAIN, OR IMMA CUT YOU hoE!"

Elmo was also a red puppet that is not to be fucked with. Elmo is a savage. Whenever someone threatened him, he would sacrifice a dead rat to satan and the person would be dead with a pole up their butt the next day. He was feared by everyone including Dora. Rumor has it that he was the one to help El Chapo and Bin laden escape. 

"Dora." The red puppet crept up to Dora's cell room one day with a knife. "Stupid, bitch you owe me dem tens," Dora forgot to pay Elmo for the drugs that night. She was very scared. A light went off in her head.

"Fight me ho." Was all she had to say. Dora was found tied upside down in a darkened cell room... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEAVE KUDOS AND LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD DO MORE OF THIS!

**Author's Note:**

> TO BE CONTINUED!
> 
> (LIKE, AND FAVORITE THIS IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!)


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